On that Kryptonite
It’s Friday and I am super crunk. Got the fullest weekend in the world ahead of me and looking forward to every mintue of it. Now check back on Monday so I can tell you how sleepy and grumpy I am…lol
In the meantime, someone sent me this email and although I’m sure it’s been around and around, it’s funny to me everytime I read it; especially since I can relate to both having it happen to me AND doing some of it now.
Happy Friday ya’ll!
OLD SCHOOL BLACK MAMAS
There used to be a time when black children were the best behaved
children in the world, now look at them. Time out my foot!
1. Have you ever been called downstairs from upstairs or the back of
the house, or from the front of the house to get the remote, change
the
channel, or fix her a glass of ice water?
2. Have you ever been hit with an extension cord, a switch, or the
nearest shoe?
3. Have you ever had to pick your own switch off the tree and she
sent
you back because the one you picked was too little?
4. Have you ever been burned on your ear with a straightening comb?
5. Have you ever been hit in the head or knuckles with a comb or
hair
brush?
6. Have you ever been told to “Shut Up or I’ll give you something to
cry about while she beats you with a belt - pronouncing every
syllable—”Did-n’t—I—tell—-you—not—to-do —!— That—no
—more?!”
7. Your ponytails or plaits were so tight, you got those little
bumps
around you scalp.
8. The white people in the school office (principal, secretary, etc.)
were afraid of her.
9. You were scared to go home when you had a bad report card.
10. Alcohol, peroxide, cocoa butter, and Vaseline were the main items
in the bathroom cabinet.
11. You were never “on punishment” - just got whooping right out of
the
shower.
12. Have you ever been pinched for going to sleep in church?
13. She made you participate in every church activity (choir, Jr. Usher
Board, Easter play, Christmas play, etc.)
14. Has she ever come inside and picked you up from school dance in
hair rollers and her gown or pajamas on under her coat?
15. When you ask her for something, her response is . . . “You got a
job?”
16. Have you ever been beaten for something your brother or sister did
just because you were around?
17. She vacuums everyday just so the carpet can have lines in it.
18. Have you ever been told to turn off the TV, get off the phone, or
sit down and be quiet when it’s storming outside because the Lord was
doing his work?
19. Friends, family and friends of the family try to keep you out of
trouble because they know your mother and how she is.
20. You were afraid to call the child abuse hotline.
21. She has to talk to God…”Lord, please don’t let me hurt this
child!!”
before she gives you a whipping.
