Diary of a Queen

It’s still hard for me to believe that I work for the company that I work for and am having the experience that I am having. Many people in IT that have never worked here, have aspired to work for this company. The name carries a lot of weight and prestige. However, the real thing, isn’t anything like anyone dreams of.

I came in thinking, I’d work hard, earn more responsibilities and excel, as I have in every other job I have held since I was sixteen working in corporate America. This company was to be no exception. Yet, a year and a half later, to have a member of management tell me that this job is not one to take if you have aspirations of moving on and up within the company, was mind blowing to say the least. I guess I shouldn’t have been surpirsed; I realized that was the case about half a year or so ago. But to hear it confirmed by management…well that was basically my indication to fly the coop as fast is as humanly possible.

With my work ethic, staying in that environment is career and emotional suicide. I already feel like I have wasted my time being there; I haven’t accomplished anything besides earning a paycheck while finishing school. So for that part, I am thankful. And the name looks damn good on the resume. But other than than…worthless. The environment is truly breaking my spirit. I am not the same person there that I was when I first started. Nor the same person when I work on projects outside of work. I give the job about 25%…because that’s all it requires. I can’t function like that. My brain is melting dammit!

Ok now that I have gotten that off my chest, I can focus 200% on landing a real job. Once the message was made clear by management, I dug down deep and found all the resources imaginable to start to find the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s amazing what’s out there when you really start looking. I declared this to be My Year this year, and despite everything I have seen this year, I still believe it will be. My new job is right around the corner.