All that glitters ain’t gold
Diasgree as you may, the “good man” that most of us women have been taught to seek as a mate is almost as endangered as the African Elephant. Let’s define a “good man” - attentive, loving, trustworthy, faithful, and intelligent. Now of course, every woman has her own unique qualities that she’d add to that list, but a “good man” embodies the forementioned qualities.
Now let’s be honest, how many of us know men who fit into that mold 100%? Take a minute and think about it. Each.and.every.quality. I don’t know of a single one. Sure there are those who embody most of the qualities that a “good man” posseses, but to find it all in one package? That’s almost like hitting the Lotto; the possiblity is highly improbable. Yet, day in and day out women spend countless amounts of time and money on looking for and trying to keep their “good man” once they have found him. Because there are plenty who perpetrate as a “good man”. They show us everything we want to see, everything we want them to be. Why? Because it’s to their advantage. There’s no doubt that there are some that are just about games and breaking women’s hearts and crushing their spirits. But there are plenty who do indeed love the woman they are with, and don’t want to see them hurt. But the bottom line is, they can’t be what they aren’t. They can’t force something that isn’t within them. So where ever their fault lies, sooner or later, it will surface. And we as women must cope, in whatever manner we choose; be it leaving, or forgiving or just accepting. But it is the way it is regardless of how we deal with it.
So the question is, can we as women save ourselves from being hurt by the discovery that our “good man” doesn’t really exist? Will we ever realy accept this fact? We see the evidence of it everywhere we turn. Ignoring television, think about real life relationships we come in counter with. The writing is clearly on the wall. Do we do like the Romans do and creep too? Do we neglect those that negelct us in hopes that they one day see the error of their ways? Or do we lie down and take it and grin and bear the pain we feel? Staying with a so called “good man”, sooner or later, we all face that decision because it is inevitable. Or do we give up and say its not worth it? Loving and being loved is not worth the potential devistation and avoid relationships all together. Never letting anyone close to you, immersing yourself in other things to keep “busy”.
Only you as a woman, can decide how you will cope with this reality. Because it is not going to change, it is not going to go away. You can learn to live with it. You can choose to run with it. Each and every relationship will prove different. The results may not always be the same. But the constant in the equation is that it will happen. NO matter how “good” you think he is; know that you will find in time that he is not. The options are endless. The choice is yours alone. What will you do?
See here you go again…I swear you have some magical powers to read my mind!! LOL
I’m still in the stages of deciding..its a hard reality to face that all that we dream for is just that. Our minds are so tainted with what we feel love & relationships should be like, we allow too much to happen to us and it all only makes us frustrated to the point where its just easier to be alone. But loneliness is a f’d up state of mind.
& its just as crazy as coming to the point where you have to make a decision to stay or to go…life and its constant decisions.
Wish I could find Neo with that blue pill.
-end tangent-
Comment by Princess — October 3, 2005 @ 2:16 pm
What you’re saying is real…and the truth is that no one is perfect - no matter how much we wish and fantasize. What we do with that is truly up to us…and of course, it begins with recognizing reality and being one with it.
Good post.
Comment by Blue Angel — October 4, 2005 @ 2:49 pm
I think good men and women exist but that does not make them flawless. People in general aren’t perfect, they make mistakes, they hurt people they don’t mean to hurt, they do stuff and then wish they hadn’t. I think as little girls we are taught that this fairytale prince is going to sweep us off our feet and we will live happily ever after and THAT I will agree is not a reality. It just doesn’t work like that even the best relationships go through hardships, mistakes, etc. Does that make them bad relationships? No…it makes them human. Like you said I think each person creates their own definition of “good” and though all of those traits may not be found in one person I’d still consider a man who is 80% there (in some cases) a good man. I say in some cases because it really depends on what is missing. If he is “good” in all senses except he’s abusive then that one trait makes him “not good”
…Ok I’m getting way off track. My only point is that I think “good” exists just not in the fairytale way we were taught as kids.
Comment by MzB — October 5, 2005 @ 10:59 pm
Good exists…but what is good for you or me may net be good for him or her. You may meet some one who you click with and is perfect (as you can get) fro YOU. But he may have a trail of ex’s that will profess that he is pure evil.
So good exists….but you must find your good.
Comment by Unk T — October 14, 2005 @ 1:49 pm